smiling around...

Would like to share something interesting, might sound like a familiar story, but something very basic to human nature to ponder upon. There is this aged man in our group, here in this camp, somewhere in his 70', may be 80's. He was pretty grim faced for the first two days, had sat with me for dinner once without speaking a word to me or even looking at me through those 20 minutes. I could be wrong, but he seemed like the kind who hate this world, for it has given less than they actually deserve. It seemed like he had his set of prejudices as we had heard him vehemently speak against the idea of religious equality as suggested by our teacher. He had gone on saying "they are the ones who start it... they dont consider us equal, why should we..."
On the 4th day,that is yesterday, as I was having dinner he came and occupied a position right opposite me. I don't know why, but I got a feeling he had found me. Then I saw him smiling for the first time as he was looking at me. The next instant, he started telling me his story.
"My father passed away when I was 2, studied through whatever he had left us till primary. I struggled for the basic needs starting from food as I started looking for a job when I was 15. How would one have the mind to learn these philosophies and idealisms when all he thinks about is how he could have his next meal. I got married at 20, and when I was your age, I had a son. I came here thinking it would get me rid of my ailments. But I am not sure about these spiritual teachings." He spoke with such intensity that the Father of the church, who was having lunch in the same mess had to gesture him to speak in a lower volume.
Wow, I thought. Here is a man expressing himself in front of someone at least 50 years younger to him, and with such zeal. We spoke a little more. I wished he would speak more. But soon lunch time was over, his plate was empty and he got up to wash them. (We wash our plates here) This It would be one of the most interesting and conversations I have ever had and was left pondering over it. I was pretty moved.

having a good time...

It rained all night yesterday, at least here in Andheri. So morning was extremely cool and as I wrote on FB, it was fun taking a walk on this hilly terrain, inside this quiet campus. The morning tea felt better than usual because of the weather. The people here are nice and the teachers tell us nice things as well. May be because the people have come here to become nicer than they are or may be its the ambience of the place, away from your routine life.

I exchange smiles with everyone, say my greetings to some. The 'Brahmavidya' session lasts from morning 6 to evening 6:30 with quite a few breaks, including a long 2 and half hour break during lunch. As I said, the teachers tell us nice things, some with good examples. Because you all insisted I tell something about what I am being taught, I'll try to put some in words. We are basically taught 'correct breathing' and 'correct thinking', the concept being that most mental and physical disorders arise because of incorrect thinking and breathing respectively. They teach us breathing exercises for the correct breathing part and give us a method to mediatate to channel our mind to correct thinking. I'll have a lot to say on both aspects, but right now I am short on time, so this is it.

We have no specific activity other than these sessions which are not exactly interactive. I usually prefer not to say much because it would lead to an argument. Its amazing to see how people start accepting the theories when they are told to keep their faith in it, with the key statement being, you will realize some day. Here too I see that people now have started 'believing' rather than understanding or deriving. They don't understand, consider it something abstract and therefore they believe. I'd probably accept the first two positions, but I'd rather not believe. What is amazing to see is the devotion with which the teachers and their assistants try to impart their knowledge to us, considering they son't get a penny out of all this. They believe in this. These things provide answers to questions we all at some point may get in our lives and probably till we die, we want all the answers. From what I gather, we humans don't want to leave this world without having all the answers. Pardon me for being a skeptic.

All said, I am learning a lot of good things here, as Nikhil said, the most important things cannot be taught. Everybody is extremely loving and caring here. The old lady I mentioned yesterday is simply awesome, full of spirit. I had a few more conversations with my room mate who I found had also given the GRE and had got many admits for a research in Chemistry. And yes, I did feel a little guilty about missing my scheduled dinner yesterday. So I came here, in the same cafe, only after I had my dinner at 7:30. I walked till the gates of the campus with 4 other particiapnts, the relatively younger ones, all females. They had ice cream, I had a five star. When I refused the Ice cream, one of the ladies told me to keep doing these breathing exercises as her one of her relatives had not got a cold for the last so many months since she had started doing these. I came here leaving them with their ice creams as I realized it would be late by the time I go back. It is 9:30 as I type this and I think I should get going now. The campus gates close at 10. I may not be here tomorrow as our teacher has scheduled a 'talk session' with the youngsters after dinner tomorrow, some interaction after all. So hopefully, day after. Bye bye.

a different outing..

After several debates and discussions an arguments with my father about it, I finally thought "ok...ill give it a go". Partly because of the respect to our discussions always ending with dad saying.." You wont know till you experience it" with me winning the discussions hands down with all my logic. Also because I have known my father to be a reasonable man. I had to know why was he devoted to this "Brahmavidya" cause, the name that sure sounds like the dozens of spiritual courses people turn to at old age.

So I packed my bags and came here. Andheri East it is, Mahakali caves to be precise. I had been given a timetable for 6 days including the day I reach and the day the camp ends. The schedule was pretty engaging to say the least. I reached sharp at 4 in the afternoon on the first day as was the schedule. As I had thought, at first I could not find anybody of my age. Most of them seemed above 65. Some middle aged and many others, housewives. As I counted today, we are a total of 17. And well, there is someone of my age, a girl named Monali (from what i gathered from the initial introduction)

I wont talk about the course here as it is not relevant, neither for me, nor for the readers here. The place, itself is amazingly quiet. Located on a small hilltop, it is actually part of the campus of a local church. There are many activities in here from learning music to marriages to spiritual learning to religious prayers and even scientific workshops. The centre I am living in is called 'Atma-Darshan'. (A place to meet yourself)
Its a nice place as I mentioned anyway, the facilities are pretty awesome I must say, especially compared to what I had in mind. Extremely clean rooms, decent toilets and a big mess with square tables for 4. So yeah, coming back to where I was, we had a formal introduction: to the teachers and to one another. Here too (as it usually is :P), I got all the attention along with the girl, us being the two young participants. I got some applause for saying I had come here cos my dad had told me to.

I really find old people,...pardon me for the use of this word,.. extremely 'cute'. One old lady fondly introduced herself to us as "I am his wife" pointing to his husband sitting in the front row, she seemed completely happy to have that identity. And then with a cheerfulness resembling a kid's, said "I am happy to come here". Two are doctors, one professor, the girl I mentioned has done a Bachelors in Architecture.
The room is neatly arranged with two single beds at each side of the room. There is a big wide study table with two chairs, atop is a small wall hanging statue of Jesus Christ and a calender that says "I believe in you, Jesus" (The place belongs to christian missionaries). My roommate is a middle aged man (the age of my dad may be..). Had a few talks with him, but he genrally is pretty quiet and prefers to keep to himself. He offered me chikki yesterday which I didnt refuse.

Well today, the second day. Woke up at 5 30, a time not seen for a long time now as 6 o clock is tea time. After the initial session of imparting us with the introduction of what we are going to learn we had a break to have breakfast and have our bath, if not taken already. I had a quick bath and then had to engage myself with the exercise of carrying filled buckets from the place where the water heater was to different bathrooms which belonged to old ladies or those suffering with back ache (Beleive me, most of them did). I thought of the gym and why I had been irregular. Breakfast, lunch and dinner is a simple affair here with the food kept on the big table at the far end of the mess and everone serving themselves. I sit with my roommate and we eat silently, with an occassional conversation like "the place is good, the dahi is nice"... Most part of the day (7 hours to be precise) is spent in learning what I am supposedly here for.
The practice tonight got over at 6 30 and I ventured around looking for a cyber cafe, mainly to check my mails and share this. It is already 8 and I think I'll have to have dinner outside. With the early breakfast and lunch, I am pretty hungry. I am thinking dominos, garcia's or a kabab place nearby....will sign off now...keep visiting...

Birthday Boy!

It was some time during school. I was beaming that day. My friend wished me a happy birthday. He always had weird, fanciful ideas. “Well tell me, why we celebrate our birthdays, why party??” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“No, what are you on a birthday, a year older? Is that why you celebrate? Aren’t you closer to the day you die?”

I saw the point, but went ahead and celebrated my birthday.

I obviously don’t remember my first birthday, but as usually is, I can tell from the photos that it was a big affair. Then on, wearing a casual dress in school, getting wrapped gifts, getting all the attention, it was all so much fun. Why would anyone need a reason? I find that some people always do need a reason. Not the most attractive way to live a life one might think, but they don’t seem to have an option.

Well, here’s the thing. Imagine being stuck on a lonely island on your birthday. Could you possibly feel happy just because you were told that some years back, you were born on this day?

On the day of your graduation, you celebrate because of the sense of achievement. On your wedding day, you celebrate because it’s the start of a new life. On an anniversary, you have fond memories of that day; you celebrate to keep it going.

Yes, the only reason that birthdays seem to make one happy is that other people know it’s your birthday. In my book, that’s reason enough. It is a reminder that you matter to the people around you, the way you are. They celebrate with you not because of something you have done. It’s just because you are with them, because they are happy to have you around.

I remember I used to find that friend of mine irritating, may be because I could never win an argument with him. We have lost a bit of touch now. Ironically, we usually talk or exchange messages twice a year, once on his birthday and the other on mine.

You might have had a horrible year, might have spent your time doing nothing worthwhile, but it’s the only day that’s completely YOURS. Stop looking for reasons.

Go ahead! Celebrate! And yes, call me to the party. J

independence day...

I washed my clothes and cooked my own food today, not out of interest but because it was the thing to do. I was supposed to do it. These two activities made me feel a sense of independence, more than what i feel on the 15th of august.

I was told casually by folks at home..."make something for yourself...", no leftovers, mom gone outstation, and me: sick of maggi noodles. I had cooked rice, curries, dal before but either under guidance or as a response to "show-me-you-can-cook-when-you-live-alone" challenges. I had usually made my way out by arguing the point (Why the heck would i live alone??..#*&) but once or twice i had taken it in a good :) way. So, anyway the point is that it wasnt exactly a challenge anymore and i HAD to cook because there was NOTHING that could fill me, not even cash so that i could order something. 

Washing clothes by hand in the weekly (i make it monthly) schedule is a by product of having expensive clothing which are too delicate to be spun and whirled and churned in that big old washing machine. Plus setting up the machine for other clothes. 

As a guide to independent living i'll give a short procedure on how to wash (dirty) clothes :

>>Take a big bucket. 'How big' depends on number and size of dirty clothes. 

>>So take a sufficiently big bucket considering two things: one, garments settle down when they are wet but then theres got to be space for the froth that comes up when you add the detergent. So basically, your estimate in the beginning would mostly have been correct.

>>Dump the clothes in. Make sure they arent entangled or folded.

>>Start filling water into the bucket by means of a half opened tap. Now this is an important step. As water pours in, add the detergent powder. (Apologies, this algorithm isnt for detergent bar users.)

>>Quantity of detergent is like quantity of salt in food (as per taste), here as per requirement. Usually, add till you get good amount of, but not too much froth.

>>Let this setup last for 2-3 hours.

>> Dont expect things to have changed when you walk into the bathroom. The bucket would look and smell pretty much the same. 

>> When the top layer of water is unsettled, only then can u see the water beneath which has (hopefully) changed color from transparent to black?? Ok, so now you have the first one in your hand.

>> This is the most troublesome part. Hold the garment in such a way that you can rub it to a part of itself with brute force. Do it, and keep it under running water. When you feel the soap's gone away, drain out the water by making the fabric crumple as much as you can. (watch out for that last drop....)

>> Do this ( the last step) or all the clothes, preferrably more than once, if you have the patience.

>>Take out each one of it out, uncrumple it (a mix of 'whoosh' and 'thud' sound should be heard as the fabric hits the air). Dry them. (Two words but a lot of work...hangars...tied ropes....stool...etc)

A procedure for setting up the wasing machine isnt given here as it depends on the brand. Refer your manual instead or ask your mom.

Coming back to food...i decided to make rice and dal for myself. Here's my version (borrowed from mom).

>>One katori rice. Wash it.

>>Two katori water in it.

>>Little more than half a katori tur dal. one and half katori water.

>>Both rice and dal in sufficienly big steel vessels.

>>Set up the pressure cooker. 

>>>Some water at the bottom to avoid burning and half cut nimbu to keep the insides clean.

>>>Whistle at the top.

>>>Keep the rice vessel at the bottom, a plate above it and then the dal vessel on top of it.

>>>Close the lid as per the direction shown.

>>Keep the cooker on a high flame.

>>It should be a little over ten minutes before 2-3 whisles are heard. Lower the flame, and let it be for another 5minutes.

>>Let the pressure ease of and the lid will fall. Rice is ready!

>>Heat water in another deep vessel on medium flame, add salt, haldi, a little jaggery to it. Add the boiled dal and mix well till it becomes consistent. Let it boil till it becomes sufficiently thick. (At least 8-10 minutes) 

>>Mix both with home made ghee on top, some nimbu ka achaar, find that it doesnt taste as good as mom's does but satisfy yourself with the thought that YOU made it.

P.S.: Those who have gone through all this before might understand my plight, for the rest of you not habituated to all this, my mom's classic..."What will you do when you are all alone!".

The curious kid..

We had relatives at our place a few days back. They are fun when they bring small kids along with them. By small i mean really small; when they do only what they want to and not what they are supposed to.
There were two here, and the smaller of the two ( probably an year old) was a real curious one. Ah! That look on his face as he crawled. He picked up small things at will, examined them and then threw them away. Even the act of throwing it away was an issue of curiousity for him. Something like.."I did something to that thing!!"
His parents though, especially his mom, didnt find this as beautiful as i am makingit out to be. She took him onto her shoulder and made him sit on the sofa. "Behave!" Poor kid. I didnt think his behavior was indecent, everything that he threw would not break, it was pure, harmless child's play.

I believe kids should not be turned into adults superfast. Its nice to see a baby getting excited at seeing a flowered t-shirt, also to see a kid playing with a book upside down, not realizing that its meant to be 'read'; as it is to see a child asking his dad "Why do you wear glasses" (and getting his question answered appropriately).
Curiousity, in children must be encouraged in the primitive years. If honed in the correct way, it graduates to become positive inquisitive-ness later. Asking questions to others and to ourselves is the most efficient way of learning about things and people around us which does not necessarily mean the physics, chemistry or biology of things.
"Don't do it. You are a big boy now" is the worst sentence ever framed. If you have scrolled down directly, read the above article for getting the context :).

The Android named 'God'

I was never too fond of gizmos, but this one was a particularly astonishing creation and had gained huge popularity. This robot called 'God'. I had waited long enough till its price came down. Helper androids were as cheap as a day's meal but this one cost a little less than a pet dog! Had heard so much about it and how it had changed lives, I was eager to have it.

I went to the mall and took the escalator to the outlet called 'The Eden'. They recommended getting this particular thing over the counter rather than ordering it over the network. A live demonstration was a must according to the makers. It was an 'always active' android which had independent movement and intelligence capabilities. The most astonishing feature of all was that it could sense its owner's emotional state and give 'guidelines' to take you to the right path. As a general 'security' constraint, even this android was not supposed to generate new ideas, but the user could input some of his constructs into its brain.

I found this was an extremely efficient android with deep insight on things. The unique feature was that it could think and behave like us but at the same time, had no module for emotions. So it was easy for it to keep cool and be the one to talk sense whenever needed. Never self indulgent, it had hardly any problems of its own.
Once in a classic quarrel with my wife when she was on a quest to teach me on how to deal with people, i began feeling impatient and was about to make a statement. The android came up with “Patience is the companion of wisdom, be cool now, you'll be alright later."

I became used to these one liners, sometimes even had interesting discussions with god. Though an interactive piece, it stuck to its points and could drain you out big time with its arguments.
It very intelligently pointed out flaws and you could trust its assessment of things, sometimes even address me as "son...".

I found one day that my administrator put me on a different workplace on the network. It had more humans than humanoids, obviously involving more hassles and more opinions. No polling here, it was an order, when i had been doing well on the previous assignment.
I had found anger had always taken over me at times. I was guilty of letting my frustration out on helper androids more than once which in some cases is a bigger offense than network spying.
I was fuming with anger and god came with "Anger is a cloud on your brain. You need to be calm." It wasn't working anymore. It didn't put my irritation to rest. "It must be one of those strategic moves", I thought about my transfer. Just as i was about to tell god to 'shut up', I found a button on its belly which said "manipulate". Some fundamentalists insisted on not using it, but this was amazing, almost like a hack.
I typed, "But anger can sometimes be motivating and could lead to you bringing out significant changes in yourself and society." It accepted it and intelligently developed opinions on this thought.

There were guests one day, as always a huge affair. I particularly disliked these kind which were on an inquiry spree. Social network gossip was a nuisance.
"You were moved, weren't you? What happened?"
Considered not such a good thing, humans were rarely transplanted unless in special circumstances. "No, just in a different pool." It was a safe lie considering there was no direct way to know identities over a network.
I manipulated god's vision on always depending on the truth and typed "....not when completely unnecessary."

Soon i discovered that my god's ideas became reminiscent of mine but there were always updations. Credit to the makers that it never got confused. I was really comfortable with this thing now.

I heard sounds from the adjacent house one day. I saw through my window my neighbour in a loud argument with his wife. He sat down on a chair after much shouting, his god, which was similar in structure to mine but a lot tinier make, thought this was a good time to intervene. "Anger is a cloud........" Bang.>.! God was shattered to pieces as I saw my friend holding that chair in his hands with one of its legs broken. Whatever was left of it, was muttering in a low but sharp and funnily irritating voice..."Anger is a......", it was stuck. He hammered it till it was gone and his wife collected the pieces which went to the garbage bin.

He was going to be fined heavily, but I could not help but let out a smirk. "Its not such a good thing to laugh on other people's miseries. That man is going to get fined!"
"Yeah. Not a good thing ......until its god-damn-funny!...." I typed.