apprehensive loser

I woke up late at noon, found my room, actually the whole house messed up. The study table full of things (consisting more of laundry clothes than books), the drawing room with three big couches but hardly any place to sit and the place where i slept too messy to disturb. Thought ill clean it all up. Found myself lying on the sofa (i found some place) reading the newspaper a couple of hours later. Plans of cleaning the room diluted without even self-talk that i usually indulge into..... a fleeting thought gave me an excuse, "I have an exam tomorrow....its ok."

My next big task was to find something for my tummy, not that i was terribly hungry or anything, just a general protocol. In the kitchen i found some bread and eggs in the fridge, made myself some "french" toasts. I somehow find it difficult to eat if i am not watching tv along with it, so i switched it on. There was a show about alaska on discovery and then there was the roadies show on Mtv and also there was a govinda movie on zeecinema. Somehow, even the advertisements were pretty innovative and interesting. In a sudden sense of realization, i switched it off. "I have an exam tomorrow", the tone of thought had changed.

As i had managed to find my hands on some books, mum came and seeing her, i suddenly thought i hadn't eaten much. I waited till mom made me something and indulged into some chess on the laptop. Don't know why, but spent a lot of time reading about rock bands on wikipedia (wikipedia is more interesting when you are supposed to read other things). Listening to rock songs was a distant possibility, so this was a nice compromise i thought. Had the coffee and poha that mom made me and was still on the laptop. "Megadeth emerged after the dave mustaine split from metallica.....".. i was reading. "Help me with hanging these washed clothes, akshay", mom shouted. "I have an exam tomorrow", I exclaimed.

It was mandatory now for me to take my books and open them. As i did, I thought of how screwed up my situation was, filled my insides. I remembered friends and decided to make some calls. We laughed about how we managed to "not study" the whole day and i found my reasons worse than theirs which made me feel strangely better. Plans came up of how to "prepare", now, that not much time was left as i talked to them which also made me feel good. But then a certain team needed a certain runs to win in just certain balls. It was way too interesting to miss, this match on the tv. It was midnight and i felt tired (read apprehensive), i went through some pages of a xeroxed notebook, unnecessary thoughts still (after a shameless day) crossing my mind.

So i managed to put in some time after all, i said to myself as i prepared to get to bed. "I have an exam tomorrow". Hmm.