We had relatives at our place a few days back. They are fun when they bring small kids along with them. By small i mean really small; when they do only what they want to and not what they are supposed to.
There were two here, and the smaller of the two ( probably an year old) was a real curious one. Ah! That look on his face as he crawled. He picked up small things at will, examined them and then threw them away. Even the act of throwing it away was an issue of curiousity for him. Something like.."I did something to that thing!!"
His parents though, especially his mom, didnt find this as beautiful as i am makingit out to be. She took him onto her shoulder and made him sit on the sofa. "Behave!" Poor kid. I didnt think his behavior was indecent, everything that he threw would not break, it was pure, harmless child's play.
I believe kids should not be turned into adults superfast. Its nice to see a baby getting excited at seeing a flowered t-shirt, also to see a kid playing with a book upside down, not realizing that its meant to be 'read'; as it is to see a child asking his dad "Why do you wear glasses" (and getting his question answered appropriately).
Curiousity, in children must be encouraged in the primitive years. If honed in the correct way, it graduates to become positive inquisitive-ness later. Asking questions to others and to ourselves is the most efficient way of learning about things and people around us which does not necessarily mean the physics, chemistry or biology of things.
"Don't do it. You are a big boy now" is the worst sentence ever framed. If you have scrolled down directly, read the above article for getting the context :).
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9 comments:
ok...i know the last line is for me...
its true that in this modern era children are made to grow up real fast...
children having parents have an initial lifestyle of an orphan since the parents donot have much time to spare as they spend most of their time working for a comfortable livelihood which can satisfy the kids needs...
children have the liberty to make mistakes as they dont know what is right or what is wrong...whereas an adult does know or is assumed to know hence childlike mistakes are unacceptable for adults..thats why they say u are a big boy now...
interesting post. You have however spoken of two topics, Curiosity in children, and being told to behave like adults. The connection you make assumes that adults are not curious.
That said, a child's curiosity especially should not be curbed because he has no means of finding out on his own, and those years are the ones in which the brain is MOST receptive. That is probably why "Grown ups" dont learn new languages as easily as they would have in their formative years.
There is no other way to look at this, imposing meaningless restrictions on kids is wrong.That is why we have so many people today who are simply afraid to ask a question.
I find NEx'''s response also assuming adults already know all there is to know. Knowing between right and wrong is put in by the parents only, and even parent aren't always sure. that also is a result of curiosity.
Learning is a life long process, there is no one on this planet who knows EVERYTHING. you can only get close if you care to ask.
Seeing a curious adult is a rarity. which is why child-like curiousity is a term so popularly used. The difference is: for adults, curiousity is on 'need-basis', not an instinct which is why a curious kid is beautiful.
It does not necessarily mean that one should not 'grow up' at all, but there is a fine line for parents on when to tell and when to not; for most harmless things, the kid should be encouraged to find out on his own.
It occurs quite clearly to me that when parents tell children...stop it, you are an adult now, is being mis understood by the author. They probably mean, you are expected to know better.
the post unfortunately remains ambiguous for a person who has not discussed this with the author before, or met him in person.
twas a good topic
1> totally conveyed the fact that u r suffering frm gerascophobia
at least to a certain extent
and yeah who wouldnt want to stay a kid for ever ??? no restrictions and only admiration on others part .
2> when it comes to curiosity,
believe me adults are way better off while practising it
though when it comes to exhibiting it, kids win hands down
3> though the curious child looks absolutely beau
wot with it sniffing and putting evrything it can grab into its mouth,
babies have no idea when or where to stop
and it can lead to embarassing and even harmful situations
4> adults have to exhibit a certain dignity and prudence towards such circumstances.
its nothing personal, society demands it of them.
5> regarding "dont do it.you are a big boy now". i would strongly oppose, to better put it , i would totally refute your
opinion on the topic. you see, that sentence is not meant to restrict you in any way. when a parent says that to you,
the meaning of the sentence is purely verbatim. it portrays a parent's sense of letting the child know that it should move
on to bigger and better things. you wouldnt hear a parent saying that to a toddler. but once u cross the age of basic
schooling and as u enter ur double digit years, it is a parent's responsibility to inculcate a sense of maturity in their
child.
6> just consider a scenario : a baby eating a sweet from another's plate and a 10 year old doing the same thing .
while the baby's action is labelled as "how cute", the 10 yr old's labelled as " stealing".
if never told the above line, the child will never know the right from wrong of his actions.
another example: a toddler and a 10 yr old are taken to the home of a distant acquaintence. there's a funky light on in
the kitchen. the toddler crawls over to investigate, the host wont mind but the 10 yr old goes over, then he will b
shooed out immediately (politely or otherwise).
7> NO PARENT WILL LIKE TO HINDER HIS CHILD'S PROGRESS, but when it comes to what is morally right or wrong, the parents
have to be aware if their child's growing right and isnt up for any embarassments. nothing can hinder a child's growth more
than a deep rooted embarassment.look it up with any shrink or any book on child psychology.
embarassment is the worst fear of any child. and it can not only retard but can totally stop the whole process of being
curious.
8> regarding the toddler at ur place being told to behave when it was flinging stuff around, there also his parents were
absolutely 100% correct. though he wasnt doing any damage at ur place. tomorrow he might go to some one else's and
let a cellfone fly thinking its fine to throw things. or worse consider if he smashes a glassware and gets cut.
learn the sentiment behind the scolding and dont concentrate on the words.
Gerascophobia is the fear of growing old from youth, the fear of aging. So couldnt figure out the analogy. Moreover, even if you thought it is the fear of aging from being a toddler to an adult, there was nothing in the post to suggest an urge to remain a child in its absolute sense.
I agree that the big boy line was mis-quoted as all three comments point out. Did not convey the point as the other parts of the article wanted to convey.
As for Amar's last two points are concerned, i think you took it to another level. To inculcate morals from childhood, to tell the child what he should do and what he should not, is absolutely necessary. There are no two opinions about it.
Parents should be watchful, sure, but playing around with pillows, empty talcum powder boxes and blocks is a basic liberty that should be given to a toddler. The mother here, chose a short-cut way by completely cutting off the child from it in anticipation of him doing something harmful.
Its like not allowing a child to run around at all in the fear of him going out of the society gate while doing so. The balance between being watchful and complete inhibition, as mentioned in an earlier comment, is
what i wanted to convey.
wot i meant was .
now u throw a pillow or a powder case , tomorrow u throw a glass perfume bottle when no one is looking which might hurt you or cause loss of money .
in young age children can easily form habits.
i dint get the last line of the third last para of ur comment above
"There are no two opinions about it."
elaborate.
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